This is the casing from the first bullet I shot. I'll never forget the way I felt today. The systematic loading of the bullets into the clip, then the clip to the gun, release the chamber lock and your ready to go. The whole workings of a firearm are all man made and the whole thing just screams mechanical death, but the feeling of having a gun in my hand just felt... natural. The way the gun just clicks into place, the force travels up my arm and it makes it feel complete for once. It takes a few shots to get used to it, I flinched a few times and the bullets didn't hit the paper but once you really just focus its a wonderful sensation, lining the dots up and squeezing the trigger and seeing that small explosion as the bullet leaves the gun.
The ideas some people have about guns just being an extension or compensation for the penis is just wrong, well in my case anyway. I didn't feel like a 'big man' shooting a gun, I didn't think 'ohh yeah I've got a massive cock because I can pull a trigger and blow holes into stuff' and I didn't have this urge to go out and do 'manly' stuff like chop down a tree or get blind drunk and hit a woman. I think it's the only time I have been truly calm. I saw the gun as not an extension but a device to channel myself, steady breathing, eyes locked on one thing, squeezing the trigger just as if I was closing my hand into a fist, and then that orange flash as the negative feelings leave my body. I would highly recommend going to a shooting range, there wil be the people there that I described above, but before you shoot just remember that that mentality isn't universal in all gun users.
These are all my bullet holes, note I actually got one in the red zone, without sounding so unpoetic but fuck yeah, fuckin kill zone!
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